*~Sleeping Princess~*

“When one door closes another door opens, but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”

I do not beg to be understood as to why I did what I did. Suffice to say that I am still sane, I know what I am doing, and really, I should stop looking at the closed door because it is unhealthy.

As a matter of fact I am at peace right now. I did it calmly and it was as if a huge burden has lifted off my shoulder. Nobody asked me not to leave. On contrary, news spread directly from my superior, and like a bushfire, the whole company knew in an instant. I expected it anyway. Goes on to show that not only my superior does not appreciate my contribution, he doesn’t bother if I resigned or not. No succession plan is in motion. Maybe they thought my job is unimportant, replacement can be done slower, and workload can be distributed among my colleagues. *Shrugs* Doesn’t matter to me anyway. I’ll just turn off my phone if they can’t pack finished goods to export and cause customer claims and lawsuits. It is their problem, not mine. I have had enough showing up at 11.30 pm again and again because of it and got rewarded by the haunted popping photostat machine. I have had enough of people screaming at me in the middle of the night about things that I couldn’t control. I have had enough with work related injuries.

I believe, therefore, it is time to leave. In fact, I’ve been thinking of it for quite sometime. There are better offers who came and went, came and went. I just have no time to go for job interviews because I was too busy. Silly me to turn down job offers from Penang because it was too far to attend the interviews. Really, when I was too busy I have no time to look back and reflect on my job and whether or not I am satisfied of it.

I believe I do not owe anyone a reason save for myself. Sometimes it is really so hard to please everyone no matter what I did or didn’t do. I am exhausted, really. And the Human Resource demands me to turn in my job descriptions when it was supposed to be their job to write them. So yeah, good luck to the next person.

Weekday lunches always consisted of “meh” and “bleh” food for me, because of the time limit and my refusal to leave the office to go under the hot sun.

Frankly, I don’t think I miss out a lot even when I stayed in and have a peanut butter sandwich in pantry.

Because, apparently when I made the effort today I’ve been rewarded with gastric due to overly sourish fish fillet vermicelli which has more bones than meat. I am just not good with fish and it was a big, big mistake.

In case you are wondering, which I am damn sure that you don’t give a damn anyway, yes I am blogging in the office. Its not a sin but it damn sure is a distraction especially when I am dead busy and fairly stressed right now.

I seldom talk about my job and work related stress but that doesn’t mean it is a bed of roses here. In fact, it is exactly the opposite, but who am I to complain? Every job has their own problems to stressed out from,their own things to get angry at, their own politics to handle.

Besides, if I were to rant a lot about it I run the risk of being discovered, and I just don’t want shit to hit the fan. For the record we have ex employees bad mouthing the company and the staffs with very colourful name calling to the extend that police reports have been made. Facebook wall-to-wall sentiments are leaning very much to the negative side with current staffs flaming and ex staffs fanning the fire. Employee turnover rate is all time high even when economy is not so good. Especially after the change of management.

For this I have to say that previously when I started work, things look good. Opportunities, things to learn, good employer and all that shits, it is a good place to start. The factory is new, the higher ups genuinely wants us to help keep the operations up and running, and we are parts that keep the whole thing expand and move forward.

But not so much now. The master and slave sentiment is thick and suffocating. The future is a joke. We made promises to customers that we couldn’t deliver. And we bear the brunt of the customers when the higher ups have fun with dinners, golfing and whatnots. Apple polishers and office politician rule the scene with an iron fist. And the irony, they rather pay for functions to be held in 5 star hotels than to give a pay raise to the lowest level employees. From the way I look at it, their pay is lower than the minimum in the whole state. Not that I have the data, but its just damn well pathetic.

We are disillusioned. Advancement is pretty much tied up with how good your relationship is with the master. Pretty disappointing eh? There are so called Seniors who took everyone’s report (mine included), delete the name and present it to the big ass. We were disgruntled, but helpless. The boss doesn’t give a damn as long as the job is done, and the Seniors got a raise. Its a beautiful world isn’t it? Wake up and smell the roses. Nobody stands beside us.

And no job is worth the stress, heartaches and unhappiness, which is why most of the time when I am done ranting with friends, I am back to being blase, nonchalant and pratically just waiting paycheck by paycheck. Paychecks are the best compensation, although it certainly is never enough.

Woot!

This is just so memorable! The first time I’ve got such a huge ass bruise smacked on my left leg!

It must have sound pretty absurd to be wearing a big bruise like some badge of honour, but hey, I don’t get to inflict such a magnificent size bruise on myself everyday. Not that I did it on purpose anyway.

As to what happened and how it happened, suffice to say that I am the clumsiest person ever and it was an unforeseen accident back at work. No, it wasn’t that bad. I didn’t get knocked by the forklift, the warehouse didn’t topple down and crush on my leg nor did my subordinate gang up and give me a good kick. Nah nothing like that.

The first few days hurt like mad and gingerly touching it makes me burst into tears. So, no mood to talk about it, no mood to take picture and all that, just plain moping and hoping that it will go away. It was just after a few days that I realize that I should take a picture for keepsake, because, as far as bruises go, they disappear and I will be like, “ya know, I once had such a big bruise on my leg here!” cue pointing to smooth unbruised leg whenever time comes for me to reminisce the good old bruise-y days.

So, there you go, my bruises!